A true American’s story

Posted: March 28, 2015 in current events
Tags: , ,

ted cruz

Today we are interviewing Republican firebrand Ted Cruz, the senator from Canada that recently announced he was running for president in 2016.  Our ace reporter sat down with Cruz to answer the tough questions mainstream media is afraid to ask. 

Good morning Senator.   Last week you announced your campaign.  In your speech you spoke of your plans for the presidency.  I must ask, did you mean to say president?

Of course.  It is time for change in Washington.  Change you can believe in.
Seriously?  President?

As we say in Texas, yes.

You have to be fucking kidding.

Is that a question?

What is your view of the new Common Core state standards? 

Common core was cooked up by a bunch of lazy teachers that wanted to make their job easier.  Everybody knows that teachers tend to be liberal, ergo they are not real Americans.  Union gangsters that want to make it ever easier to brainwash students into their liberal agenda.  All teachers are traitors unless they agree with me.  First thing I would do would be to smash the corrupt teachers unions.

Weren’t unions one of the first targets of the Nazi party? 

Look, I don’t have time to mince words here.  The Republican Party wants to dismantle the public education system and give it back to the churches where it belongs.  Unions?  Gone.  Liberals?  Gone.  Anything that questions the greatness of America?  Gone.  Problem solved.  Everybody knows teachers hate this country, and their attempts to improve the educational system through reform are clearly a threat to liberty.  Public schools teach children that they must have mandatory abortions for Obama while worshiping Satan and wiping their backsides with the Ol’ Stars and Stripes.

That sounds painful.

Go ask our public school students.

How would you reform education in this country?

Back to basics.  Give teachers a copy of the Constitution and the Bible.

Let’s discuss your plans for the country.  What would be your number one priority? 

Impeaching Obama.

… You don’t see a problem with that?    Wouldn’t impeaching the previous President be unconstitutional? And impossible?

Not if you understand the glory of American government like I do.  First impeachment, then we invade Cuba.

Why invade Cuba? 

Why not?

You claim to want to curb government spending.  Wouldn’t foreign wars cost lots of taxpayer dollars? 

Look over there!  It’s Obamacare!

What about Iran? 

I said it once and I’ll say it again.  Iran is full of Muslims, nukes and I assume communists.  Plus, they don’t like country music.  Disliking country music is a crime against God.  Plus they hate freedom and support gay marriage.

I don’t think that is true. 

No it’s true all right.  Don’t slap a chicken and tell me it’s Tuesday.

Why are you so opposed to same-sex marriage? 

Let me educate y’all.  Everybody knows that when gay people get married, abortion rates skyrocket.  It’s simple math.  Despite all your liberal Berkeleys and Harvards, liberals simply don’t understand math.

That doesn’t seem like a valid mathematical conjecture.  What study did you base your last claim on? 

Look you liberal elitist scum, I don’t have to explain where my studies come from.  It’s common knowledge.

Moving on….you also said that climate change is not really happening.  Care to comment? 

Liberal gay scientists giving abortions slapped together some fuzzy math and came up with some reports to get funding for their welfare science.  That’s all.  Don’t put a lizard in a bucket of paint and tell me it’s Crayola outside.  I see right through your agenda.  Typical mainstream media, ignoring science to promote their political goals.

You don’t think pollution is a problem? 

Sure if you are a communist.  Smog is the sweet smell of liberty and free-market economics.  I get some shipped in from Beijing every day and take a whiff just to remind myself of the glory that used to be America.

Don’t most scientists believe that global warming is a real phenomenon that is caused by human activity? 

That’s not what my speechwriters said.

So, are you eligible to be President?  You were born in Canada. 

As soon as I am elected we will have to clarify what “natural born citizen” means regarding the Presidency.  The Supreme Court will have to decide.

Recently you accused the Supreme Court of “judicial activism” regarding the gay marriage debate.  Wouldn’t changing hundred of years of precedent regarding qualifications for president be judicial activism? 


Is that hypocrisy? 

I can be as hypocritical as I want.  I’m a Republican.

Let’s talk government shutdown.  Many people say you played a key role in shutting the government down in 2013.  Was that the best decision? 

I stand for liberty against fascist liberals and communists.  I will destroy Obamacare if it is the last thing the United States does.

You don’t care that it caused chaos for the nation? 


Was it appropriate to read erotica during your filibuster? 

Free speech is a fundamental right in this country, especially in times.of national crisis.  The first thing the Nazis did was pass Obamacare and ban erotic Gilligan’s Island fan fiction.  You’ll have to pry that erotica from my cold, dead hands.

During you filibuster you talked about how you regretted not wearing your “argument boots.”  Can you clarify that comment?

My argument boots are 100% American.  I strap them on when I am preparing to slay communists and lay waste to common sense.  In fact they are so American they are made in China.

You tweeted once that you were glad to be back in “America” when you got home to Texas.  Where is the “real America?” 

Red America.  Republican America where the patriots live and don’t pay taxes.  The America where we have the freedom to die without health insurance, and to shoot each other with abandon.  States with low taxes and horrific schools.  Where people understand things about this country, about immigration, about military service.

Is California the “real America?” 

Hell no.  Not one single real American lives in California.

Wasn’t Reagan from California? 

No comment.

Isn’t California the most populous state? 

I fail to see your point.  That is not America with all its immigrants and crazy customs and latte sippin’ liberals.  Hollywood?  Please.

Isn’t Hollywood a great example of the power of American capitalism? 

Their profit margins don’t count because they aren’t part of the real America.

Even though roughly 66 million people live in California, Massachusetts and New York, they don’t count as real Americans? 

Never.  I would have them deported.

Even though California has more people than twenty other states combined, it is not “real America?”


Was is Obama like Hilter? 

They were both black, they both wanted universal health care and they were both Muslim.

Any closing remarks Senator? 

This interview was a complete joke.  You did not mention how charming I am, or gush about my kids.  You didn’t even mention me reading Dr. Seuss during my filibuster.  My campaign manager told me that would play big in the real America.  Make sure you mention my heroic struggles against the Nazis, my fist fight with the Ayatollah, my enrollment in Obamacare and my devilish good looks.  Throw in some stuff about Jesus too.  Elect me so I can guarantee war with Iran.  Quote me on this:  I want your sons and daughters to go die in the desert to support my political agenda.  Make sure the American people know that if they disagree with me I hate them and that their views are juvenile.  Tell everybody I love the parts of the country that support me, but hate most of it.  I’m an anti-immigration immigrant.  I dislike science, the West Coast, the East Coast, certain parts of the Midwest, a few sections of the south and probably Puero Rico.  I don’t listen to rock and roll since 9/11.

Obamacare is going to force your children to have sex changes.

Rock and roll is the soundtrack of terrorism.  Umm…. oh yeah, atheists will be sent to death camps.

Cost-effective totalitarianism.  Ted Cruz for President! 

I’ve had it

Posted: March 27, 2015 in Uncategorized

I have reached the burnout stage in my career.  In life.  I am changing careers.  I was in Raley’s and my new path shone before me. 

I want to be the guy that thinks up cat good names.  Combine my aptitude at naming things with my basic literacy, add my appetite.  It is so obvious. 

Try our new sumptuous corn and beef leavings, soaked in hearty gravy. 

Enjoy our salmon genital nibblins with special whale au jus

Your cat can’t resist a heaping bowl of camel snoutlings and peas

Try and resist chicken liver smoothite flavor crystals

Let your special kitty dig in to our rodent bits and leech shaving gumbo!

How about our toenail bisque served on a bed of kangaroo uterus curls?

Not in the mood for kangaroo?  Try our koala hash with bits of squid casings and pig jowls today.

Eat up our new rabbit fur and tuna eyelash surprise.  Now with flavor!

For the finicky eater, try our new weasel scrotum bags, stuffed with real nuclear waste and worm castings. 

Try our new flavor, English food!

The Craving

Posted: March 21, 2015 in Uncategorized

As I walked out of Walmart, I made a bad decision.  I was standing in the lobby area, about to walk to the parking lot.  Try as I might, I
couldn’t shake the feeling.  I lost control of myself.  I’ve been to the meetings, did my 12 steps.  I thought about calling my sponsor, but I knew he would tell me something I didn’t want to hear.

Just one time.   I could hear my sponsor’s voice in my head.  “One is too many and a thousand’s not enough.”  Easy for him to say.  Come on, I was at Walmart on Saturday morning.  I just bought cat food and a king size Snickers.  I’m clearly in a shame spiral.  Just one little taste…

A homeless man with an enormous backpack looked at me.  He knew.  “Got the craving buddy?”  He pulled out a blue chip and showed it to me.  “Six months.  It gets easier man.  Got family?  Go home to them. ”  I stared at my shoes.

“You don’t know me.”  I finished snarfing my Snickers bar and wiped nougat off my cheek.  “I’m a grown man.  I make my own decisions.”  As I spoke I jabbed my thumb into my chest defiantly.  “Go get a job and then I’ll listen.”  The man shook his head and walked away.

I licked my lips and paced back and forth.  Screw it…..

I sprinted to the claw machine.  An enormous pink unicorn stood on the precipice, hanging one stuffed leg, daring me.  “You want me to take you home don’t you?”  An old lady walking by looked at me.  “Don’t judge me!” I realized I was screaming.

“You little tart…”  My fingers trembled as I pulled change from my pocket, fumbling for a quarter.  I dropped a penny and ignored it.  My body was flooded with relief.  I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling the plastic knob in my hand.  I moved it back and forth, getting a feel for it.  I dropped two quarters in the coin slot.

An hour later I walked to my car in disgrace, broke.  Miserable.  The memory of the pink unicorn left a raw wound in my soul that would never heal.  I realized with a shock that my wallet was empty.  My pockets were full of ATM receipts.  The homeless man was sitting on a curb.  He held up his blue chip and shook his head.

All in a Day’s Work

Posted: February 24, 2015 in Education

A chronicle of the trenches of public education:

Woke up at 5:15.  Showered, stressed about the day ahead.  Half-hour drive to work, listened to iphone because the stereo in the van I borrowed doesn’t work.

8:00 – Economics.  Talked about current events in Africa.  Led students through a project comparing three economies (Chad, U.S. and North Korea) using data from the CIA factbook.  Hand drew a map of Africa on the board and discussed the complications of living next to Sudan, Nigeria and Libya.

9:00 – Pre-Algebra.  Seventh graders are like chipmunks smoking crack on a unicycle downhill.  Slowly walked through how to use the cross products property to solve proportions and find variables.  Trying out a new strategy of allowing students to teach their peers by demonstrating problems on the board and explaining their logic.  Worked fairly well.

10:00 U.S. History.  Extremely loud close that bullies teachers in every subject.  Making inroads with them through various strategies and perseverance.  This class has made me lose my voice this year, and today my throat is killing me.  Cough.  Implemented new classroom management technique – Using Enforceable Statements I picked up at Friday’s staff development (Love and Logic).  Worked fairly well.  Continued with Stanford’s Read like a Historian WWI lesson on free speech.  Posed question “Were critics of WWI Un-American?” with speeches from Debs and Schenck as models.  Got actual thoughtful responses.  Students grappled with the concept of being a patriot.  Debs says he stands with the traitors….  Discussed what  being “Un-American” meant with a few students and a German exchange student.  Fruitful.  Class still threw little balls of paper everywhere and made a mess.

11:00 – World History.  Loud class that likes to ignore teachers.  Practiced Enforceable statements.  Started class with the “Do Now” Quickwrite – What is a revolution?  Write a one sentence definition.  Students actually got to work and wrote thoughtful responses, even students I have struggled with all year.  Expanded question – What is a social revolution?  Students gave thoughtful responses.  I wrote their responses on board and showed them how most of the revolutions they mentioned were political.  Discussed French Revolution.  Are social revolutions always violent?  Good discussion. Finally posed question:  Did communication technology create a social revolution?  Long, insightful conversation into the changes wrought by social media and technology.  Generation gap.  Some students pointed out that people are more “reclusive” now.  Filled board with responses.  I felt like I learned something.  I demonstrated another tool that caused a social revolution and held up the textbook.  Built on teaching of Renaissance and printing  press.  Gave them an assignment to read maps.  Students identified title of map, locations of industry, wrote four questions based on maps that other students answered.  At beginning of year this took half an hour.  Discussed new unit – Industrial Revolution.  Gave homework assignment.

5th Period – Business Math.  Attempted to teach the concept of calculating a final payment on an installment loan. They finally got the concept of paying down interest versus principal.  Ended up discussing why hotels need deposits.  At least we talked about business.

Lunch:  30 minutes.  Ate cafeteria lunch.  Yum.

6th Period Prep.  Graded quizzes and realized how terrible my lecture for my night class was.  Made modifications.

7th Period – Credit Recovery.  Pathetically attempted to pistol-whip students into completing online tasks for Cyber High.  Sisyphus ain’t got nothin’ on me.

Staff meeting.  Discussed Common Core and school issues.  Was tasked with explaining new SBAC Performance tasks on from training I took last week.

Drove to work from work.  Worked on lesson for hour and a half before class.

8th Period.  Native American history part 1.  Gave lecture on English Colonies in North America.  Reviewed European History.  Cracked a Seinfeld joke that failed miserably.   Balanced difficult course material, sensitive topics and student boredom.  Historical Guiding Question:  Explain how the beaver changed world history.

9th period.  Native American history part 2.  Discussed the Puritans, New England and various colonial wars.  Pequot War was tough, watched a short clip about it.  Reviewed next week’s exam.

Came home.  Contemplating lessons for tomorrow, presentation on Instructional Implications of Common Core and Smarter Balanced Testing, Progress Reports that are due on Monday.

Probably should eat dinner.

Giuliani is a Chimp!

America demands to know!

America demands to know!

Giuliani to the Rescue

Posted: February 22, 2015 in current events


Recent comments made by former NYC mayor Rudi Giuliani have really made me think deeply about the sitting President.  In a trenchant and powerful political statement rife with relevance in these trying times, I welcomed the blinding veracity shining forth from Giuliani’s mouth.  I was also blinded by the slick veneer of his forehead, but that is another matter.  It takes an American hero to critique the President’s policies in such a brutal and exact statement:

“I don’t believe that the President loves America.”

My jaw dropped.  Angels sung.  The Red Sea was parted by the miraculous utterances of this magnificent patriot.  Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Jefferson arose, Frankenstein-like to avenge their country.  Ronald Reagan gazed beatifically from the throne of Jaweh, spreading patriot radiation throughout the universe. Benedict Arnold spit Lucifer’s phallus from his mouth and laughed, knowing that finally the U.S.A knew the truth about Barack HUSSEIN Obama. I know from my deep knowledge acquired from one Google search that “Hussein” is Arabic for “one who hates the United States of America and is also a socialist.”

I demand that not-love-Americagate consume the American media for months. I demand that “President” (more like resident because he was not born in the U.S. and therefore cannot be President, ergo he is simply residing) produce documentary PROOF that he loves this country absolutely. He must prove to all the loyal Americans that he loves every single inch of this land, from sea to shining toilet. Eat a urinal mint to prove your love! Patriots eat urinal mints!

Mr. President, do you have any love notes tucked away in some forgotten trunk? Mash notes to Lady Liberty from kindergarten? Tattoos of a naked Statue of Liberty riding a bald eagle over Mount Rushmore? I thought not.

Admit that you love your family more than the country. Admit that the White House dog is a communist. Admit that never, not even once did you defecate anywhere in this great nation.

Before all of you liberals out there jump on the logic bandwagon, I would like to point something out.  People have accused Giuliani for being racist over remarks like this.  I think that is patently absurd.  Why, he himself said that he couldn’t be accused of racism because the President is half-white.  Obama had a white mother (communist) and was raised by white grandparents (filthy World War II veteran – probably fought for the Soviets).  Take that!


Giuliani is clearly one of the rare half-racists.  He only hates half of Barack Obama. The white half is fine, even though it probably only half-loves this great nation (as long as that white half LOVES this country).  By a process of mathematical prowess, Giuliani has half-disproved the critics.

In Defense of Common Core

Posted: January 17, 2015 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

Common Core, you saucy tease. What was once hinted at in education circles in hushed voices has arrived, promising drastic changes to the way that students are taught in the United States. The mythical behemoth of the federal government has finally found a program to turn America into a nightmarish dictatorship based on fear, coercion and the ultimate destruction of the American Dream. ALL HAIL KING OBAMA THE FASCIST COMMUNIST! My lesson plans are actually going to be a lot easier because all I am going to have to do is preach the merits of the welfare state to placate the 47% of people that are too stupid to realize that I am brainwashing them into joining the Democratic Party. I can abandon the countless hours I spend planning how to deliver instruction to students that have been so stultified by tests that they have given up.

The No Child Left Behind Act is probably the most unpopular topic in public schools. I think at most I have heard one person talk about the merits of the law. I was a young idealistic teacher with plans of inspiring generations with my love of learning and deep respect for the study of history, politics and literature. People told me it was a fool’s errand. “You are too smart to teach.” I cannot tell you how many times I heard that as I was working my way through my credential program. I suppose that reflects both an attitude and a reality of teaching in the United States. I’m too smart to try to reach the herds of huddled masses, texting to be free. During my credential program I began to see what they meant. The California standards for history are interesting. They have a lot to dive in to. In fact they have so much that you can never cover it all.

The best part? I know you are dying to know. The best part is watching students take mandatory state tests. The best part is being in Program Improvement schools that constantly have the threat of government intervention. Draconian punishments await those schools foolish enough to let their students bubble in the wrong multiple-choice answers. The energy I expended exhorting students to give their best on the tests… It didn’t matter that the test scores had absolutely no effect on their grades, their lives or their graduation. BUBBLE IT! They would ask why they had to take the tests. By the way, it is not one test. It is a battery of tests that assess students in many subjects. Schools block two weeks or JUST TO TAKE THE TESTS. I know that Common Core haters out there fondly remember their school days, the infinite joy of bubbling things in. Who doesn’t remember the inspiring lesson Mr. Whathisface delivered on the proper way to improve your test scores. Gone were the days of actually teaching content. Students were introduced to the world of bureaucracy. I had to try to explain why people they have never and would never met would use their results to punish the schools that tried to teach them. I had to try to explain that politicians would use their scores (Which had NO effect on the student) to further their own careers. The concept of state takeovers of schools. I am sure glad the Republicans created this law that was so clearly a reflection of minimal government interference.

A powerful memory. Graduation day in June. Beaming students, happy parents, incredibly hot weather. A former student walks up to me. “I will always remember how you had to spend a month teaching us how to improve our test scores. When I get a job filling in bubbles on scantrons and become rich and powerful, it will all be thanks to you.” I couldn’t help myself. I broke down and cried. This was why I teach!

Perhaps that last story didn’t happen the way I just described. The best part was watching students take the tests. Hour after hour, year after year, watching students spend their days in school staring at tests. Bubbling. I particularly liked policing the students, making sure they weren’t cheating on their tests (why they would cheat is beyond me). Even better was the fear of a random observer coming in to my classroom to check and make sure that nobody was cheating, or using a calculator. I desperately hoped that I had covered every single helpful poster in my room. I can’t tell you how much I loved taking down all my wall hangings like a paranoid troll. “IS THAT A MAP OF THE UNITED STATES ON THE WALL?! YOU’RE FIRED!”

Students are not as stupid as they look. Once they figured out that the tests had no practical consequences beyond a parent being disappointed it was all over. Even better, the test scores don’t arrive until the next school year. So teachers often don’t get the scores, they just get punished if their students do poorly. The students that needed the most help took the least amount of time on the tests. They were done in five minutes. How could I help them realize the majesty of randomly bubbling in answers? At least some were creative and bubbled in shapes or words. Even better, the tests are given at least a month before the school year ends. In fact, you have to teach all the standards before the year is over. Don’t get behind! The Grendel’s mother will get you! She will arise from the blackest depths of hell and demand that you choose a, b, c or d. Students that need the most help are drilled the most on standardized tests, having entire classes designed to raise their scores. The classes are inherently boring and lead students to hate school even more. I dare you to teach disgruntled teens strategies for test taking. It would be easier to pull teeth. I would rather chase down students and pull their teeth than force them to take these tests and these awful remedial classes. Even worse than teaching these classes is being a student in one.

As a response to millions of educators crying out, a movement the change the standards was formed. More rigorous they said (parents agreed). A different style that teaches useful skills instead of mindless bubbling. Actual reading! All teachers would be required to teach literacy in some way, to show students that all disciplines and occupations demand different methods of reading. Sounds crazy. Teach students how to read like historians, like mathematicians, like English teachers, like mechanics, like scientists. Give them new things to read. Read, write and speak. They also added listening to the standards, something today’s students sorely need help with.

When I was a new transfer student at U.C. Berkeley, I was introduced to a radical new way of reading. I already had some practice with it, but the history classes at Cal demanded a deeper level than I knew was possible. The professors gave out entire books that were primary documents and other texts. The graduate students said something about “close reading.” I learned how to analyze documents for meaning, to mark them up and struggle with their significance. How does this poem fit into history? This graph? This section of a novel, this propaganda, this newspaper article, this painting, this comic, this movie, this song. Analyze. Listen. Read. Write. Think. How complicated! How revolutionary! It is only the oldest and more effective form of education. My tests were one sheet of paper with two questions on them. Better learn to write.

The Common Core standards are much more like a college than the old standards. I also teach at a community college in addition to teaching middle and high school. The lack of reading and writing ability is ridiculous. Today’s first year college students are expected to make up a grade level of reading over the summer between graduation and university. The standards DON’T EVEN PREPARE THEM FOR ENTRY LEVEL WORK AT UNIVERSITY. Scores of college students have to take remedial English, costing them and the schools millions. The beauty and wonder of learning is once again drowned out by the need to hone basic skills. The Common Core is supposed to help with that.

I love the Common Core. It focuses on reading texts. Students are not expected to find easy answers, they are supposed to struggle with complicated material. They are required to make meaning out of multiple sources of information, to write about them and to formulate their own opinions. Math is not a simple regurgitation or a calculation. Now, you must justify your answer. It sounds like a bunch of bull until you actually do it. I had to take a math class for my job and the finals were written. They would provide a math problem and ask you to solve it AND explain your steps along the way. I actually learned a lot about math just from taking the test. As the Latin proverb goes: “By learning you will teach, by teaching you will learn.” Explaining your responses is a powerful tool.

An example of a Common Core history lesson. Instead of memorizing details like the Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen was written in 1789 by French revolutionaries, we read it. We annotate the actual document and struggle with its meaning. We talk to each other about it in groups. We explain our reasoning. It takes longer, but the learning is much deeper and more applicable. Students have learned about the historical context of the document, the meaning of the document and have learned how to read primary sources. That skill can transfer to other classes, and also to the world of work. We read actual letters from Federalist and Anti-Federalists as they debated the meaning of the Constitution and the need for a Bill of Rights. Or, we could memorize what those parties were with no understanding beyond the requirements of an exam. Tell me, how does memorizing dates help a student outside of a history class?

When students escape the bubble, how will minutiae help them?

The new tests are harder than the old ones. Students will struggle with the new way for a few years. That always happens when their is great change. Parents may not understand the homework that comes home with children because it goes beyond 2 +2 = 4. Perhaps people should extend just a little bit of trust to professionals that have spent untold hours in college, credential programs, in the classroom and in professional development studying how people learn? Perhaps? Probably too much to ask I admit. When a mechanic describes what is wrong with my car, I simply tune him out because he is a latte sippin’ liberal. What does he know about the inner workings of a car with his decades of experience? NOTHING! I’m calling the principal and the school board to complain.

The worse part of the roll out of the Common Core is the political grandstanding. Republicans have found out that confused PTA members are easy to rile up, so they have taken a few stupid examples of supposed “Common Core” questions and blasted them on the internet. The one second that people take to laugh at these questions is easy. Of course there will be flops. If you had studied with the Common Core method, perhaps you would ask questions like “Who made this question? What was the author’s purpose in sharing this text? I think I will discuss this with somebody.” Or you could grab the scantron you carry with you and bubble furiously until you reached the conclusion that Common Core is communism, pure and simple. They are probably coming for your guns next.

The worst flip-flopping turd of a politician is Bobby Jindal. First he likes the new standards, then he hates them. He smelled a political opportunity and is padding his conservative resume by suing the federal government over the standards. Let’s pretend Jindal gives a flip about the standards. When they were popular he was for it, now he is against it. A rising anti-intellectual, anti-improvement movement is engulfing parts of the United States. Yes, they are national standards. They are better standards. I have the feeling that Republicans would destroy this country just to embarrass Obama and the Democrats. Who cares that having common standards will make materials cheaper? Make collaboration easier? Who cares.

Nobody except for teachers.

Your homework assignment: read the following quote and write a response either agreeing or disagreeing with the speaker, Bobby Jindal.

“The proponents of Common Core will tell you that it’s simply about one test and about standards, but that’s a ruse,” he said Wednesday. “Common Core is about controlling curriculum. Educators know that what’s tested is what’s taught. Make no mistake — Common Core tests will drive curriculum. Common Core supporters should own up to this fact and finally admit they want to control curriculum. These are big government elitists that believe they know better than parents and local school boards.”

I am finally going to admit that I want to control curriculum. I am a big government elitist that works at a tiny rural school. Me big government elitist. Me went to Oxford – oh wait, Jindal went to Oxford.

I don’t want to control curriculum. I want students to learn and be literate. I want the political games to stop and for people to focus on students and their education. Stop pretending like your political crusade has anything to do with improving public education.  Leave that to professionals that actually work in classrooms with the public. When I want to screw up the United States, I will consult the real professionals: politicians.

Further reading (another skill common core would help with)




Read the standards perhaps?